Examine Yourselves

2Corinthians 13:5
Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates? (KJV)


Yesterday I was notified of a cousin's passing, he passed away while at church, and I pray that his heart truly was converted and that he is with Jesus.

Yesterday was a day for much thought and prayer and self-examination while thinking about my cousin (who was a little younger than I) and his now widowed wife.

This had me reflect again on my acquaintance who I gave the name "Isabel" in "A True Story" (tabbed above). Isabel came to a point in her walk with Christ where she, like the people in the gospel of John chapter 6, realized upon self examination that her heart truly wasn't transformed by the Lord, and was still a reprobate, and instead of asking from the Lord without ceasing until her request became a reality of a true conversion, gave up on God, thereby giving up on herself and her own eternity with God.

I also came to such a point of a personal meltdown, a time of truth, when I had to confess that I was a reprobate because I did not truly have Jesus in my heart, soul and mind, and that I was the source of my own strength instead of truly relying on the strength, goodness and power of the Lord. I begged God for His mercy in the light of this truth, this understanding, and I would not let go of asking for the miracle of a true conversion. I asked with the centurion that begged Jesus: "Lord I believe! Help Thou my unbelief!!!" and then trusted that He would help my unbelief, and each time my unbelief would rear it's ugly head He would remind me that His faithfulness was greater than my unfaithfulness, and to trust Him.

This world is full of trouble and evil on every side, and our lives are but a tiny candle in a wind tunnel, only flickering for a short time until it is snuffed out, and by God's grace remains lit for the time that it is. Let us use the time wisely, to seek Him while there is yet time, and not follow the sick world in it's debaucheries and insanities.

Hold fast to what is true, Jesus is the way, the Truth, and the life. Ask, seek, and knock, and do not give up and give in to the weakness of thinking self is all you need because you err in thinking that God is too far from you...He is very near, even at the door, continue to persevere and He will give you the strength to go on persevering. Do not be cut off from Him, from Him flows life, and truth, and endurance to be with Him and of Him, continue in well doing by His might, not your own strength. Our own strength is very weak indeed, and in the end (even if we think we are being loving of others and selfless, we lie to ourselves if it isn't God doing it in us) the only true love can come from God through us to others. If we love others by our own strength there is always an ulterior motive, some selfish need being fulfilled, to seem virtuous to others and to try to gain their honor and respect for ourselves. Would we still love them if they spat in our faces the way Jesus continued to love and forgive those who despised and hated Him? We cannot, unless it is He loving others through us and forgiving others through our forgiveness of others,  as He also has forgiven us.

Trust Jesus instead of honoring yourselves,
                                                                    for without Him we are nothing.

2Peter 2:17-18
These are wells without water,
clouds that are carried with a tempest;
to whom the mist of darkness is reserved for ever.
For when they speak great swelling words of vanity,
they allure through the lusts of the flesh,
through much wantonness,
those that were clean escaped from them who live in error.
(KJV)

Eternity
in blackness 

of self-reflection without Jesus 

is a long, long time...