Harbouring Unforgiveness in My Heart

 Taking a little break from the Calvinist study to share something from my daily life...

 

"Cell Division" by Seliora

link to photo 

 

This Morning's Dream:

Interacting with many people in the hustle bustle of daily life, but I was noticing a change. People were becoming "more of what they are", like their inner lives were coming out into the open more and more, many seemed to be losing their minds. A few, like me, seemed to be outside of this transforming development. We were the truly thankful ones who had forgiven those who had hurt us in the past. The others that were changing ....became, or rather allowed themselves the freedom to exhibit their hatefilled self-centeredness, anger and their coldness. They still had a huge amount of anger, rage, and unforgiveness in them. Some didn't seem as bad, they still seemed to have a form of "goodness" but were quietly seething on the inside while appearing very haughty and still putting up an appearance of what looked like love, but it was only love for themselves and those they approved of. I tried to reach out to a man who seemed to be struggling in the middle. I told him to let go of all unforgiveness in his heart, to be truly thankful to God for the good things, for life. He looked at me and understood.

When I awoke from this dream this morning, I felt as though this world is like a cell in the process of cell division with the Lord's people on one side and the rest on the other, getting separated out, like the tares from the wheat, I didn't feel anxious or panicked about it, just very thoughtful, thinking over Jesus words about the unforgiveness and hatred I was seeing displayed in those who were not His:

 Matthew 18:23-35  "Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 

 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.'  

And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.  But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, 'Pay what you owe.'  So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.'  

He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.  

When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.  

Then his master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.  And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.  So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."(ESV)

 Matthew 6:15  but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (ESV)

There are a couple of people that come to mind that I have never fully resolved an irritating issue between us, still harboring anger towards them, but keep  "it" in a hidden part of my being, so others won't notice it, and once in a while, that monster pops it's ugly head out and I shove him back into the dark corner where no one will notice him. He is a part of my flesh, and am thankful for this (above) parable.  I have given this problem to the Lord and He will do the delicate surgery required to heal everything in His time....but that doesn't let me completely off the hook. Sanctification is something that often gets confused with justification. Sanctification is a process that the Lord does in the life of a true follower of Jesus who is filled with His Spirit. All the ones perfecting themselves through their own "goodness" and own "abilities" will find themselves eventually on the wrong side of the spiritual war that is going on even now. 

Like faithful Lot we can pray with the Lord about these lost ones, but in the end, like with Lot, the decision rests with God. Does He transform them into the likeness of His being?..... or will they go on "perfecting themselves", still unrepentant, haughty, self-satisfied, hellbound....